she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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