I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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