OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
