Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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