Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
