i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
