fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
