she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
