everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
