I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
