It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
