He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
