Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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