New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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