I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
