I'm jealous of your bromance
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm passing your future prison.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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