Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
