My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
