I can't watch pbs sober anymore
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Semen is not good for contacts.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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