If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
where does the pee come out of this thing
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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