I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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