Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
