I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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