i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
