did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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