you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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