:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
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