I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
