we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
