her vagine was all disorganized.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
