He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
