fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dude i'm inner monologue high
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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