So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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