Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
