Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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