I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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