Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
