What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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