elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
