So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
