Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
