After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
How external is "for external use only"?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
