My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
