DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
