Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
