He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I take back everything I said about communal showers
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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