Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
