new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
