They have a pepper shaker for pot.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
