She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
not ubering you a puppy
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
