I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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