six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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