I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
